Exchange and Attraction of Situational Communication
In the “How to Double the Influence of Your Communication?” published last week In the article (Part 1), I shared with you a contextual communication model that enhances personal influence.
The core viewpoints of contextual communication are:
If you want to influence one of the key figures to support your point of view, you need to take contextualization of communication, according to the other side of the state and specific communication situations, to take a different communication strategy.
How to analyze the status of the other party? We can focus on two dimensions:
1. Whether the other party’s sense of purpose and needs are clear;
2. Whether the other party’s emotional state is positive.
Combining the above two dimensions of judgment, you can accordingly adopt four different communication strategies: persuade, exchange, link, and attract.
In the previous article, I shared two communication strategies with you: persuasion and linking ( click here to view ). Today, I will continue to share with you two other communication strategies of situational communication: exchange and attraction.
Strategy 3: Exchange-clear rewards and punishments
Sometimes, when we start a conversation, we are in a situation where there is an urgent need, or we can’t bear a certain state, and we hope that the other party will act to change it immediately.
For this situation, you need a strong promotion of an immediate communication influence model, you can consider using the “exchange” communication strategy.
No reasoning, no data, no empathy, and straightforwardly say: What do I need you to do, if you do, I can give you something; if you don’t do it, you may face some consequences.
We are so familiar with this model! When we were children, our parents and teachers often used this trick against us. Now, although our generation has learned a lot of seemingly more advanced parenting knowledge, we still use this trick to deal with our bear children from time to time. Moreover, it works!
“Don’t touch it anymore, you haven’t done your homework yet! Now sit down and do your homework. If you finish your homework within an hour, I will show you the 20-minute version of Peppa Pig. Otherwise you will not be able to watch TV or play Ipad all day today.”
If you give me what I want, I will give you what you want. Exchange on an equal footing and cooperate well, otherwise, I will let you bear certain consequences.
The exchange model is more suitable for the following situations:
1. The other party’s needs are clearer, your goals are also very clear and generally urgent, or the current state has not improved even after trying other methods, and you can’t bear it anymore.
You know what incentives to give to the other party can be “equivalent” in exchange for what you want, if the other party has no interest or indifference to your goals and the incentives you give, the exchange will not be established.
Nowadays, some young people are popular in “lying flat”, “Buddha”, and “mourning”. As a manager, he/she also needs to observe carefully. What does his/her heart really need? It may be a more flexible work schedule, it may be seen and affirmed, or it may be a small incentive to be creative and send to the circle of friends.
2. The other party’s emotional enthusiasm is not high, and you feel that he is a little slack or passive resistance.
The other party’s emotional state is not very positive, but it is not particularly negative and frustrated. When you must use the “link” mode, you can use the incentives he wants and the appropriate pressure he can bear to “activate” his state and let him treat you. Respond and act more quickly to the needs of the country.
3. You are in a relatively dominant position in the relationship between the two parties, and you do not have high expectations for the relationship between the two parties.
Your main purpose for implementing this communication is to achieve an urgent goal. Regarding the relationship between the two parties, your expectation is to maintain a basic and benign cooperative relationship, and you do not expect to improve your relationship from this matter. Therefore, under normal circumstances, this model is more suitable for equal and lower levels, and should be used with caution for superiors.
For example: you are the person in charge of a cross-departmental cooperation project in your company, and a member of your project team, Xiao A from a brother department, always excuses not to participate in the project review meeting, and the tasks assigned to him have been repeatedly delayed. The project progress review meeting is about to be held again. You have not yet received feedback on the task progress of A, and you are not sure whether he will be absent from the meeting again this time. You need to talk to Xiao A. Your goal is to make him value this project, complete his task in time, and participate in the project review meeting. At this time, you can use the “exchange” mode of communication influence.
Architecture and techniques
The exchange mode is the strongest among the four communication modes, but it also needs to uphold the correct “win-win” attitude and pay attention to the communication structure and skills.
In terms of expression structure, it can be divided into the following three steps:
1. Clearly state expectations:
“I hope you……”
“I need you to do…”
“Please finish before…”
“My request is very simple…”
2. Evaluate the other party’s behavior so far:
“When you do…, I’m very happy/comfortable”
“When you do…, my feeling is…, it bothers me a lot”
Why is there such a step? In fact, to a certain extent, this is to tell the other party “Why”, not just “What”, which can stimulate the other party’s introspection and make it easier for the other party to accept your suggestions.
3. Give motivation and pressure:
“If you can do A, I will reward you B”;
“If you do A for me, I will do B for you”;
“If you can’t do A, I can’t help you do C”;
“If you can’t do A, I also have to do C.”
Need to pay attention to
1. The effect of both motivation and pressure will be better. If the other person is not interested in the incentives you give, he may also be afraid of the pressure you give.
2. To grasp the degree of motivation and pressure, do a good balance between the two. Incentive is too high, will let the variable to another “bribe”; pressure is too large, it is easy to become “coercion.”
3. Motivation should be targeted, it is best to help the other party to solve practical problems, you have the ability to give and can meet the needs of the other party; pressure should be appropriate, the other party can bear but is unwilling to bear.
For the small A in the cross-departmental project team mentioned in the previous article, the incentive you can provide is that if he encounters difficulties or insufficient manpower on the project task, you can deploy resources to help him solve it together ; the pressure that can be exerted is if he If he still cannot complete his tasks in time and causes project delays, he needs to report to the management the reasons for the project delays with you.
Strategy 4: Attract-draw a blueprint together
In our work and life, there are always some people whose dreams, blueprints and goals make us moved and excited. If we have the opportunity to participate in the construction of this blueprint, we will feel more meaning and meaning of life and work. Passionate, these people often become our friends, mentors or role models.
“Humans are the only animals that think about the future”, and the communication strategy of attracting and co-drawing the blueprint directly affects the high-level needs in Maslow’s theory of needs—the needs of self-realization. If you can master the communication influence model of attracting and co-drawing the blueprint, the energy you stimulate is beyond imagination.
Attracting-co-drawing a blueprint communication model is more suitable for the following situations:
1. In the matter you are discussing, the other party’s sense of self-target is not very strong.
The lack of a sense of purpose and confusion about the future will be the catalyst for you to guide him/her to set up goals and build a blueprint together. If the opponent’s own goals are already clear and firm and very different from yours, it will not be so easy for you to influence him/her to join your goals and blueprints.
2. The other person’s emotions are relatively stable and positive, and you are trustworthy in the other person’s heart. If the other party is in an emotional state of insecurity, he/she will not be able to break through the real dilemma and imagine the future with you.
3. From the bottom of your heart, you are passionate about your goals and the blueprint you want to build and are willing to be fully involved.
Only by igniting yourself can you ignite others. You have to firmly believe and be willing to devote yourself to this, it is possible to attract and infect others to join your dream journey.
Attracting-co-drawing the blueprint may be the least adept communication mode in the contextual communication mode for many people. First of all, for yourself, you need to find the driving force that transcends the real dilemma, find the blueprint goal that excites you, and attract others in an infectious way, which requires a lot of use of your inner strength and right brain thinking.
Architecture and techniques
1. The communication strategy of attracting and co-drawing the blueprint can be divided into two steps:
The first step: find the cornerstone of co-drawing the blueprint. For example: common interests, interests, ideas, past experiences (or good or painful), etc.; don’t just scribble on the cake, first find the foundation that can inspire a common vision, so that the other party can be on the same level with you Draw a blueprint together.
When finding common ground, use less “you” and “me” and use “we” more. The sentence patterns you can refer to are:
“We all believe in each other…”
“From our past cooperation experience, we all pay great attention to…”
“Our common wish is…”
“We have all suffered from…”
“We have very complementary advantages. You are good at…, I am good at…”
Step 2: Create a blueprint for the future together. Use pictures, metaphors, analogies and other methods to imagine exciting goals and blueprints with each other.
With more graphic and appealing descriptions, the sentence patterns you can refer to are:
“Imagine that more and more people can grow up in our organization. In the future, our company can realize the emergence of talents in large numbers, and the starting point of this beautiful blueprint is the… talent development project that we will start. “
“I see that what we are doing is something that no one has done before. When this project is completed a year later, people will say that the xxx project is like the Columbus fleet, opening a new era of our xx products going overseas. .”
“It’s like Branson’s entry into outer space, we can also be the first team to achieve…”
“When this problem is broken, the efficiency of cooperation between our two departments will be greatly improved, just like the sea and air battleships of the aircraft carrier formation, and they are full of power.”
Need to pay attention to
1. Use more analogies, metaphors and descriptive language to create a vision and avoid too much data, facts and logical analysis.
Co-creating a blueprint is to inject driving force by inspiring people’s imagination, hope and longing. When setting up a vision, if too much data, facts and logical analysis are introduced, it will be easy for both parties to focus on real difficulties instead of Focus on more possibilities and vision beyond reality.
2. Regard stimulating energy and achieving common goals as the primary goal of communication, rather than specific action plans and details.
The purpose of the blueprint dialogue is very clear: to ignite the enthusiasm of the other party. Let the other party be consistent with you in the goal, inspire the other party to throw more new ideas, instead of you to tell one, two, three, immediately fall into the details of the action plan, will kill the other’s enthusiasm.
Write at the end
The above are the four communication strategies of situational communication: persuade, link, exchange and attract. Which communication mode are you more familiar with and use more? It is difficult for someone to be able to use the four modes proficiently at the same time, but this does not prevent us from deliberately practicing, focusing on the other party’s communication, and adopting different communication strategies based on understanding the other party’s state to make our own communication more positively influential .
Situational communication can be used to communicate with anyone. Although it was mentioned that the “exchange” mode should be used with caution for superiors, for those superiors who only care about things and not people, it is also possible to appropriately apply the “exchange” mode in some special occasions.
Situational communication can not only be used in one-to-one communication, but also can influence key people in team meetings; it can not only be used in the workplace, but also can help you become a better observer and communicator in your life, so that you can be positive. Help more people around you with positive influence.
Situational communication makes you more positively influential in different situations. But in the end, all communication strategies and skills are just aids. The most important thing is your sincerity and recognition.
Posted by:CoinYuppie，Reprinted with attribution to:https://coinyuppie.com/how-to-double-your-communication-influence-down/ Coinyuppie is an open information publishing platform, all information provided is not related to the views and positions of coinyuppie, and does not constitute any investment and financial advice. Users are expected to carefully screen and prevent risks.