25 behaviors that your superiors hate

25 behaviors that your superiors hate and favor

Every workplace person and his superiors have a relationship of community of interests.

The superiors hold important powers such as work arrangements, resource allocation, and personnel appointments and removals, which play a vital role in the achievement of our work results. If we can cooperate well with our superiors, it will be a good thing for all aspects.

If the subordinates do not cooperate properly, it may lead to subordinates not being appreciated, income and career development are limited; for the superiors, the poor performance of subordinates will also affect the overall performance of the large team, which will affect their own interests; for the organization, Will cause internal consumption of organizational resources.

So, what are the prerequisites for assisting superiors? How to communicate effectively with superiors? What kind of subordinates are most favored by superiors? What kind of behavior is easily hated by superiors?

Below, Enjoy:

01  What good is a prerequisite for higher adjuvant

To assist the superior, we must first know what the superior cares about . Only in this way can the right medicine be prescribed.

When it comes to this issue, many people will think that, of course, superiors care most about work results, that is, performance.

Yes, there is no doubt about it, but is high performance the only important concern?

Let’s first look at a story in “The Romance of the Three Kingdoms”. The story is related to Cao Cao’s two counselors Jiang Gan and Yang Xiu:

1. Jiang Qian

On the eve of the Battle of Chibi, the two armies faced off on both sides of the Yangtze River. Cao Cao wanted to send an envoy across the river to say that he would surrender Zhou Yu, and adviser Jiang Gan took the initiative to invite Ying.

After crossing the river, Zhou Yu received him. Before Jiang Gan could speak, Zhou Yu was already drunk, and he took Jiang Gan to rest in his camp.

Jiang Gan saw a top-secret letter on Zhou Yu’s desk. This letter was written to Zhou Yu by Cao Cao’s navy captain Cai Tao and Zhang Yun. The content is roughly as follows: We choose a day to seek refuge with you, please be prepared to meet.

Jiang Gan felt that the matter was urgent, so he left without saying goodbye, crossed the river overnight, and reported to Cao Cao. Cao Cao was furious and ordered that Cai Hao and Zhang Yun be killed.

After killing the two, Cao Cao suddenly realized that he had been hit by Zhou Yu’s counterplan, but he was too late to regret it. But Jiang Gan thought he had done a great job.

Soon afterwards, Jiang Gan took the initiative to ask Guo Jiang to say surrender, Zhou Yu avoided seeing him, and arranged for Jiang Gan to meet Pang Tong outside the post. Pang Tong said that he wanted to go to assist Cao Cao, but unfortunately no one introduced him. Jiang Gan expressed that he was willing to introduce him, and the two crossed the river together and met with Cao Cao.

Pang Tong’s nickname is “Feng Chu”, and he is as famous as Zhuge Kongming. At that time, people believed that “Wolong” and “Feng Xiao”, the emperor can stabilize the country with the assistance of one of them.

At that time, most of Cao Cao’s army were northern soldiers. They were not suitable for fighting on the water, so they got seasick when they boarded the ship and their combat effectiveness was greatly reduced. While worrying, Jiang Qian introduced Pang Tong. Cao Cao was very happy and asked Pang Tong how to break the enemy.

After Pang Tong watched the naval camp, he suggested that Cao Jun connect the warships with iron rings and lay wooden boards on the deck so that the soldiers can walk on the ground as if they are on the ground and the horses can run on them.

Cao Cao followed Pang Tong’s strategy and connected the warships together. Later, Cao Jun was attacked by Zhou Yu’s fire, and the warship suffered heavy losses because it was connected together and could not escape.

This time it was Jiang Gan’s “credit.”

2. Yang Xiu

Yang Xiu is extremely clever and very good at figuring out Cao Cao’s ideas.

Once, Cao Cao inspected the newly built mansion and wrote a word “live” on the gate before leaving. The craftsmen couldn’t guess the meaning, Yang Xiu explained to them that there is “live” in the “door”, which is the word “kuo”.

Prime Minister Cao felt that the gate was not “wide” enough. So the craftsmen widened the gate. After that, Cao Cao was very happy to see the new gate. After inquiring, he learned that Yang Xiu had extraordinary wisdom.

On another occasion, Cao Cao led an army to attack Liu Bei. When he couldn’t attack for a long time, he had the idea of ​​retreating, but he still hesitated. In the evening, Cao Cao passed the order to go to the barracks and the password was “chicken ribs.”

Yang Xiu knew that “chicken ribs” was the password that Cao Cao personally determined, so he guessed Cao Cao’s inner thinking. The general was puzzled by the “chicken rib” command, and Yang Xiu informed him of Cao Cao’s hesitation in retreating. When the general returned, he told his subordinates to pack up and set off at any time.

Cao Cao patrolled the camp at night and discovered that the soldiers were cleaning up the bedding, only to realize that Yang Xiu had guessed his mind. After verification, Cao Cao killed Yang Xiu on the charge of “shaking the military’s heart.” After slaying Yang Xiu, Cao Cao reluctantly entered the army and went back to the mansion after losing his army.

Jiang Qian and Yang Xiu, one of these two people is mediocre and incompetent, the other is extremely clever. But the fate of two people is that the mediocre will live, and the wise will die. What does this show? 

Sometimes, whether you can get the approval of your superiors is not a question of whether you are smart enough, but whether you can be “rarely confused”.


Regarding the theories and methods of assisting superiors, it is difficult for us to find corresponding research results in Western management. It should be closely related to our historical and cultural background.

Operation Cao is their superior, what does he care about?

In addition to caring about the abilities and performance of the subordinates, the superiors also care about whether the abilities of the subordinates are used in the right place and what role they play.

There is also a story about Cao Cao, which more clearly illustrates what Cao Cao thought and thought for his superiors:

One night, Cao Cao lived in Wufeng Tower and was besieged by rebels. Many of his subordinates sent troops to rescue him after hearing the news. The melee outside the building was so furious that everyone disappeared until dawn.

After daybreak, Cao Cao convened a meeting with his subordinates. He asked those who were able to lead soldiers to escort them at night to stand on the left, and those who did not go to escort to stand on the right. The person on the left thought he would be rewarded, and the person on the right thought he might be punished.

But unexpectedly, Cao Cao ordered all the people standing on the left to be killed. Because he didn’t know who really wanted to save him and who wanted to kill him, he simply “would rather kill a thousand by mistake than let go of one.”

Some people have not been promoted and reused in the enterprise for a long time, but they don’t know why. Perhaps they should be inspired by reading the story in “The Romance of the Three Kingdoms”.

02What does the  superior care about?

1. The superiors care about performance, and performance is related to the speed of promotion

Performance refers to what you have done, what goals have been achieved, what outputs have been achieved, and what breakthroughs have been made compared to the past . Can this matter be a highlight in his year-end work report? Can he tell others ” Look at what my subordinate team has done successfully.”

If the superior wants to promote a person, what basis does he have to rely on to convince the crowd? He must look at the performance of this person.

Performance is directly proportional to the speed of our promotion and development in the enterprise. If we want to promote and develop fast, our performance must be good.

2. The superior cares about trust, trust is related to temperature

Trust and loyalty are closely related . The superior may think that although the subordinates are very capable and create performance, they always feel that they are not their own caring people. In another, more blunt terms, this person is not his.

If the superior feels that a subordinate is not worthy of trust, or the values ​​of each other are essentially in conflict with each other, then he will give very little support in the cultivation and promotion of subordinates.

3. The superior cares about harmony, and harmony is related to the height

The superior is also worried about a kind of subordinate, which always makes trouble for the superior and puts himself in a very passive position.

This kind of discordant relationship will inevitably make the superiors feel uneasy, so many superiors especially hope that their subordinate teams can handle all aspects of the relationship, not to cause trouble, and to maintain harmonious interpersonal relationships.

In enterprises, when some people are promoted to a certain professional height, they will encounter rising bottlenecks. The reason is often because this person is not enough. The ability to deal with interpersonal relationships, integrate resources, and establish harmonious internal and external relationships precisely reflects a person’s pattern and height.


03How  to communicate effectively with superiors

Communication with superiors is generally divided into two scenarios, namely work communication and non-work communication. We focus on discussing the methods and skills of work communication.

For superiors, the most precious resource is time. Therefore, it is particularly important to transmit information quickly and accurately, that is, to improve communication efficiency. Before occupying the time of superiors, we must make full preparations.

According to the different time stages, work communication can be divided into: pre-communication, inter-communication and post-communication. The purpose, content, method, and precautions of communication at each stage are different.

1. Communicate and plan ahead

Before starting a job, we must communicate clearly with superiors: what to do, why to do it, what method to do it, how many resources to use, when to complete it, what permissions are there, and what is the reporting and communication mechanism.

As if things before inadequate communication, which inevitably results diametrically opposite will occur, not only a waste of time, but also undermines mutual trust.

Pre-communication, due to time constraints, sometimes needs to adopt multiple methods to repeatedly confirm and calibrate the task requirements with the superior at multiple times.

For example, after receiving the task through face-to-face communication, you can first draft a plan, take the specific plan and then confirm with the superior, listen to the feedback from the superior, and then modify and implement the plan. Pre-communication is a powerful guarantee for the final implementation effect.

In addition, in pre-communication, you must temporarily abandon your own subjective thoughts, pay attention to listening and understanding the intentions and thoughts of your superiors, and don’t always hold on to the idea of “I think, I think, I guess”, but go more. Think “he thinks, he feels, he asks”.

2. Communicate and determine resources during the event

Some people think that there is no need to communicate on the matter, and the requirements of the superiors are already very clear. If we do not have phased results, we should not “fret” the superiors.

But if we don’t report the process to the superior, he will not know your current work content, work progress, problems encountered in the work, and help needed; if he does not know what we are doing, he naturally does not know how Go help us.

The content of the process communication should include the current progress of work, the problems encountered and the corresponding solutions, as well as the problems that have not yet been solved, and how the superiors need to provide help.

When communicating in the event, data and facts must be accurate, analysis ideas must be clear, and solutions must be feasible.

Many subordinates do not know what to do when they report on their work. After listening to a lot of statements, their superiors will ask one sentence: “What do I need to do?”

If the solution of a problem requires the mobilization of a lot of resources in order to meet the requirements of subordinates, the superiors will often ask everyone to reorganize thematic meetings to discuss and solve them, or put the problem on hold for the time being.

There are some problems that are easy to solve. If you need help and support from the superior, he can easily do it, and the superior is often willing to help you coordinate and solve it on the spot.

“Children who cry are fed milk.” If the job becomes worse because of the lack of effective communication, you will eventually take the main responsibility and be severely punished by your superiors.

On the contrary, if effective communication is carried out during the process, on the one hand things will not become particularly bad, on the other hand, even if it is difficult to return in the end, the superiors will open their doors.

Therefore, the purpose of communication during the event is more to report the situation and strive for resources.

3. Communicate afterwards to determine credit

When the matter is over, we must make a review and summary of the relevant work results in a timely manner. The main content of the upward communication includes reporting the results, explaining the reasons, and expressing gratitude for the support of the superior.

When doing work summary reports, try to be as objective as possible, speak with data and facts, talk more about some deficiencies, and less talk about some advantages. Do not put the whole reason for the success of the work attributed to himself, to take into account affiliated team, cooperative aspects department, superiors, and other external partners .

Some people will regard expressing gratitude as a “flattering” and dismissive, but in fact whether or not we are grateful directly reflects our understanding of the achievement of our own work.

The work performance and results of our team are often closely related to the resource allocation and overall support of the superiors. If we don’t express our gratitude, our superiors might think, “This guy is a white-eyed wolf! I’m so good to him, he doesn’t even have a word of gratitude.” After that, it will be difficult to get support from the superior. .

We are grateful to superiors not only is not something that needs to be despised, but a meaningful thing, and if we persist in doing it, we will gain more trust from the superior.


04 The  superior is unwilling to communicate with us, what should I do?

Sometimes, we encounter situations where the superiors do not approve reports, do not reply to text messages and e-mails, do not answer calls, do not give the opportunity for face-to-face interviews, etc. The communication is blocked. What should we do?

Under normal circumstances, superiors are reluctant to communicate with us for the following reasons:

1) The work at hand is not the important and urgent work that the superiors are most concerned about. For example, in the face of severe sales pressure, the manager of the logistics department approached the superior to communicate the reform plan of the staff restaurant and did not receive a response.

2) The superior thinks that our understanding and execution are not enough, and communication is meaningless. For example, the superior has been instructing many times, but we can’t understand and understand, we still go our own way, and ignore his guidance and requirements.

3) The superior thinks that the timing and method of our communication are wrong, and it is not convenient to communicate. For example, we sent a long-form proposal to the superior, and the superior did not have time to read it carefully. For another example, for a complex issue, we want to talk about it in the limited time at the regular meeting.

4) The superior thinks that our thinking about the problem is not deep enough, or they are given essay questions and fill-in-the-blank questions. For example, we asked him “what are the main reasons for unsatisfactory sales” or “what are the ways to improve sales performance”.

Since the superior does not want to communicate with us, shall we stop communicating with the superior? Of course not. At this time, we have to try to solve the problem, but changing the way and method of communication can be immediate.

1. Change the way and method of communication

According to the two dimensions of communication methods, “information richness” and “information rigor”, we can draw a comparison chart (see Figure 1).

We will find that no one way of communication is the best. We need to determine our communication methods based on factors such as different types of communication content and communication objects.

Peter Drucker believes that superiors are divided into “reader type” and “listener type.” Subordinates should also match the type of superiors in their choice of communication methods.

He believes that the “reader type” likes to read documents and written information, and the “listener type” would prefer to listen to the phone or face-to-face communication.


Figure 1 Comparison of information richness and information rigor of different communication methods

I suggest that when you can communicate with your superiors face-to-face, try to use face-to-face communication as much as possible. Because the information conveyed by the face-to-face interview is richer, and you can exchange feelings.

In reality, this kind of face-to-face communication consumes time, and the time the superior can give us is very limited. Sometimes the superior and we are not in the same place, so this determines that it is difficult for us to communicate face-to-face with the superior frequently.

Face-to-face communication, because of the irregularity and inaccuracy of the communication information, leads to information overload or semantic distortion at the end of the communication.

In order to make up for these shortcomings, we often have to supplement the confirmation by written communication , for example, after face-to-face communication, promptly ask the superior to sign and confirm the meeting minutes, memos and other memorandum documents, or use email replies to confirm.

The choice of communication methods should not be single, but combined, which varies from person to person.

2. Make good use of “door blocking theory”

Many times we just can’t make appointments with our superiors, so what should we do?

What we can do is not to wait passively, but to take the initiative.

If we have to communicate face-to-face, we can take the initiative to understand the whereabouts of our superiors, and then wait for him on his only way. As soon as he went out, he went up to report to him, maybe he could help us solve the problem in a few words.

This behavior of relying on “blocking the door” for communication opportunities requires courage and is risky. Not every time is successful, and it may even be counterproductive. Therefore, if you are not fully prepared, don’t act rashly.

Usually, when the superior is blocked, he usually meets the request of the subordinate, after all, why not do it with a little effort. As long as the appeal is not particularly excessive, it is not a matter of principle, does not take up a lot of time and energy, and will not bring bad consequences, the superior will generally be satisfied.

Although blocking the door may not be successful, but not blocking the door will certainly not succeed.

Therefore, we also boldly speculate: a person’s achievement is directly proportional to the number of times he successfully blocked the door. A successful manager must have experienced more door-blocking incidents than a mediocre manager.

If a person has never blocked a door, his achievement should not be very high, because blocking a door is an extreme manifestation of active and active communication. This view, we might as well call it “the theory of blocking the door.”


05  Why superiors would hate you?

There are many main reasons why superiors hate their subordinates. Next, we might as well look to see let superiors nasty 25 kinds of behavior:

1) Never communicate, the superior is not familiar with you.

2) When the superiors explain their work, they are silent, and do not ask if they don’t understand.

3) There is always bad news.

4) Finished the work, nothing happened to the superior.

5) Let team members disrespect your superiors.

6) Cut first and play later.

7) Not paying attention to the work arranged by superiors.

8) Working against the superior and refusing to execute it.

9) No feedback when encountering problems during the work process, delaying time.

10) The reporting work is not focused, logically confusing, and information is distorted.

11) The superior always knows your situation from others.

12) I have given you resources to support, and there is no result feedback, or no result output.

13) Make trouble, let your superior wipe your butt.

14) Big mouth, can’t keep secrets.

15) Be smart and self-righteous.

16) Talking about superiors behind their backs and speaking badly about superiors.

17) No big or small.

18) Give the superior a nickname.

19) Not grateful, thinking that the achievements are the result of their own hard work.

20) Ah Dou can’t be helped without progress.

21) Fill-in-the-blank questions and essay questions are always given to superiors.

22) Bullying a superior professionally, saying that he doesn’t understand.

23) Do not play with superiors.

24) Refuse to have dinner and chat with superiors.

25) Don’t care about superiors.

These 25 kinds of behaviors can be divided into 3 aspects: work aspects, non-work aspects, and personal ethics.

25 kinds of behaviors, how many have you ever done? You might as well make a statistics. If you have done very little, then it is normal; if you have done most of it, then you have to reflect on whether you have neglected or despised your superiors too much.


Analyzing the 25 behaviors that make the superiors hate not to annoy the superiors, but to look in the mirror to understand our own shortcomings, and then improve our behaviors to better assist the superiors.

Therefore, correspondingly, we also summarized 25 behaviors favored by superiors:

1) Communicate frequently and let your superiors be familiar with you.

2) Give feedback in time, think about the questions you don’t understand first, and then ask.

3) Report good news to superiors.

4) Let your superiors participate in your work and reflect his value contribution.

5) Let your subordinates respect your superiors.

6) Ask for instructions before acting.

7) Put the work arranged by the superior in the first place.

8) Execute quickly.

9) Give feedback in time during the process to avoid delays.

10) When reporting the work, make the conclusion first, be concise and clear, and the facts are clear.

11) Personally take the initiative to report to the superior in a timely manner.

12) Make good use of the resources given by superiors, give feedback on the results in time, and strive to produce results.

13) Keep yourself safe and live in harmony.

14) Keep your mouth tight.

15) Frequently ask for instructions humbly and ask superiors to serve as advisers.

16) Do not talk about superiors behind your back.

17) Pay attention to the occasion.

18) Don’t fail to pass the nickname of the superior.

19) Express gratitude to superiors.

20) Growth and progress.

21) Give more multiple-choice questions or true or false questions to the superior.

22) Explain and answer professional questions patiently.

23) You can play with your superiors in your spare time.

24) Have the opportunity to have dinner and chat with superiors.

25) Caring for the superior in real time.

If we keep these 25 behaviors in mind and follow them, we believe that our superiors will appreciate us more, our team will get more help and support, and the career development will of course get better and better.


06 What  is the “way of survival” in the enterprise ?

In every company, there will be some people. We feel that they didn’t create much value, but they still stayed. They even got a promotion and salary increase.

In an enterprise, existence means reasonableness. Although some people have poor performance, they are willing to take on more other tasks assigned by their superiors; some people’s work is temporarily unproductive, but these tasks are important for the development of the enterprise. It is particularly important, more forward-looking, innovative and strategic.

If we simply evaluate the value of some people and teams from the perspective of performance contribution, it will inevitably be biased.

In reality, our position and perspective are different from those of our superiors. Perhaps there is a lot of information that we cannot understand, and the superiors have no absolute obligation to explain everything. Therefore, sometimes we don’t understand, it doesn’t mean it is unreasonable and unfair.

Every person in the workplace should find his own position in the company and find his own “way of survival.” On the one hand, you need to practice your skills hard to enhance your core competitiveness, and on the other hand, don’t neglect communication with your superiors.

Only when these two aspects are improved can we achieve better development in the enterprise.

About the author: Huang Dawei, Dean of Weicheng Leadership Research Institute, former Dean of Leadership School of Fortune 500 Enterprise University , and a special writer of “Chinese and Foreign Management” magazine.

Posted by:CoinYuppie,Reprinted with attribution to:https://coinyuppie.com/25-behaviors-that-your-superiors-hate/
Coinyuppie is an open information publishing platform, all information provided is not related to the views and positions of coinyuppie, and does not constitute any investment and financial advice. Users are expected to carefully screen and prevent risks.

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